My First Social Story
Posted by: mamasan on: September 8, 2008
Originally uploaded by yooch24
On Saturday, Sam threw a MEGA tantrum over a really trivial issue. The boys were “sharing” 6 construction vehicles, and both wanted a particular one.
Well, none wanted to give way so Sam snatched it away right in front of me. Seeing it, all 6 vehicles were confiscated and I told S that Matt gets to pick 1st since S was the one who snatched for the vehicle. Well S threw a huge boo-hoo-hoo over how unfair it was and I shd have used a spinner to decide who goes first.
Breathed deeply and got S to calm down (very very hard and very very long). Once he was calm, I suddenly had the presence of mind to remember what El shared with me once – a social drawing! Had to be done immediately after a tantrum. So I whipped out an A4 paper and black marker and drew what S’s tantrum looked like. Basically very dark and ugly, and showed with dark strokes how it affected everyone in the household.
Um the pic looks v rough since I was still boiling when I did it …
Then I drew on the right hand side what it could’ve been with more matured acceptance of something he wasn’t happy with. How it could have helped brought the family together and lead to smiles in everyone instead.
He was so impressed with it that he immediately relaxed, looked ashamed of himself (for lack of a better word) and apologised to all of us for his behavior. He even wrote this behind the drawing.
It said “Book about Peace and Love (heart, flowers), and Tantrum”. And S was remarkably better self-controlled after that. I ended that episode feeling just a bit singed (from the emotions) but at least not burnt up as I normally wld have.
Then at night, we followed up with a social story. (I have written more info on social stories here http://mamasan.wordpress.com/2008/05/24/what-a-relief/)
Somehow upon looking back at it I feel it could be improved upon, but am not really sure how. But anyhow S liked it very much as “H I S” story, and said it was very nice. We put it together with the drawing into a clear folder to be reviewed time & again, and must remember to do another one the next time another tantrum takes place!
Thanks El, for this idea – it helped us weather through that day! 
5 Responses to "My First Social Story"
September 8, 2008 at 2:54 pm
his comments on the back were really sweet. and it’s strange how they just stop wot they’re doing and start focusing on the drawing rt? it almost catches them quite off-guard.
my ds liked e drawing too. and he liked having a hand in talking through with me how everyone reacted to his outburst, and was silently bemused at how liberally i scribbled black everywhere.
with the ‘happy’ picture, by the 2nd one, he was keen to give his own ideas abt where ppl shd be and what they shd be doing. and he helped choose the colours.
now that he’s got the idea, if it happens again, i shall prob ask if he wants to draw one or both the pictures himself. if not, he can prob help with the colouring 
‘brightsong’, if it is a severe tantrum, imho i wd prob head straight home and deal with it all there. if it stops while we are out, i wd halt our plans temporarily, and go straight to a fastfood place and do the drawing/talking there. if i dont hv A4 paper, then a notebook, or the back of a paper napkin, or receipt will do.
why not delay? from my experience they forget very easily what started the outburst, and this even from a 6+yr-old who can remember things he did 4yrs ago! do give it a try. our councellor said that kids rememebr the 1st 3 words we said. mb the 1st sentence if we’re lucky. so long lectures at this age just dont sink in… but pictures can be
‘interanlised’ and visualised even after some time has past. they can also be looked back upon like a picture storybook.
September 8, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Hi el, thanks for your feedback and advice for brightsong, which was something I was wondering too.
Oh my, they only remember the 1st 3 words?! No wonder his eyes been glazing over at first sound of my blahdidah lectures. And he can NEVER repeat what I told him, which always got me mad. Always thought it was his focusing problem…
Sounds like u work more hand-in-hand with yours than I did. Thinking back, I was the one more “in charge” – TELLING him how it affected the ppl, and TELLING him how it could’ve been. Next time I do this, I’ll try to involve him more like u did in the drawing and maybe even the social story.
And, Sam was also giggling slightly by the time I was scribbling black everywhere! Had to remain straightfaced to remind him of the “seriousness” of the lesson.
September 9, 2008 at 4:15 am
Thanks so much, el. Would you mind if I “quote” your advice in my future blog post? Would be helpful to REMIND me from time-to-time.
September 11, 2008 at 4:42 pm
hey Brightsong, the advice is not strictly all mine, a lot is from our councillor so if it helps u and yrs, go ahead!
September 8, 2008 at 5:56 am
thanks for posting this tip. I forgot visuals should work better than just “problem solving” words with my kid. err… if the tantrum happens when we are out, would it be late to try this (esp with my boy’s short memory) after reaching home?